Don't F with Cats

“Don’t F**k with Cats” is a gripping three-part documentary I stumbled upon after listening to a true crime podcast. Like many people, I have a habit of diving into the details and sometimes even scouring crime scene photos when I’m intrigued by a case. In this instance, I delved into the disturbing story of Luka Magnotta, a Canadian man who gained notoriety for sharing a video online where he suffocated two kittens in a vacuum-sealed bag. Little did I know that this seemingly isolated act of cruelty would lead to a much darker and twisted tale.

The documentary takes us on a rollercoaster ride, revealing how a group of amateur internet sleuths embarked on a relentless manhunt for Magnotta. Their investigation began with that infamous viral video titled “1 boy 2 kittens,” which circulated on both Facebook and YouTube. As the online community pieced together clues, they uncovered a chilling progression—from animal abuse to the murder of Chinese international student Jun Lin. The tension builds as we witness the pursuit of justice and the unraveling of Magnotta’s sinister activities.

And yes, I watched the video. It left me utterly shocked. While the full video isn’t shown on Netflix, the series provides a haunting glimpse into the mind of a disturbed individual and the power of collective determination in seeking justice1. However, you can still find the video on Reddit and other questionable sites. Did I watch it? Yes! Was I shocked? Very much so. 

After the disturbing video of the kittens emerged, the internet did what it does best—reacted. Particularly when it involves harm to animals or children. People started by reporting the video, expressing their outrage. But here’s the twist: they had no clue who the perpetrator was. They hit a dead end.

Then, like a digital posse assembling for justice, a Facebook group titled “Find the Kitten Vacuumer…for Great Justice” sprang up. The mission? Unmask the man behind the cruel video. Deanna Thompson, a key figure in the documentary, stumbled upon this group created by John Greene. She reached out to him, and together, they formed an unlikely duo—an investigative team that could rival seasoned FBI agents. Their thoroughness surprised even me—I thought I was good at digging up online information, but they took the cake.

As the hunt intensified, someone added a taunting video response on their page. It featured a scene from the movie “Catch Me If You Can.” The message was clear: the online sleuths were being challenged. After all, the internet allows you to wear countless masks, hiding your true identity. The offender likely thought, “What are the odds they’ll uncover who I am and hold me accountable?” The vast expanse of the interwebs provides anonymity for all eternity. 

So, this determined group rallied together and dissected the infamous cat video. While most folks were fixated on the person behind the camera, our dynamic duo—the two-man crew—had their eyes on the surroundings. Brace yourself for the details: they spotted a wall socket and meticulously mapped out the room where the kitten murderer operated. But that was just the beginning.

Next, they zeroed in on a seemingly innocent blanket adorned with a wolf image. Little did they know that this blanket had a story to tell. Turns out, it had been sold on eBay to a single buyer—yes, just one—located outside the United States. Curiouser and curiouser!

But wait, there’s more. As they listened closely to the video, they caught a mysterious voice in the background, speaking a language they couldn’t quite identify. No worries—they whipped out their translation skills and cracked the code. It was Russian, and it came from a sitcom. Unfortunately, this lead turned out to be a dead end.

Undeterred, they pressed on. Lo and behold, they stumbled upon another video by the same man—a chilling kitten video, set in the same room. And then, a breadcrumb trail from a fake profile led them to a tantalizing picture: the man’s face, blurred, but unmistakably connected to one of the kittens. The video provided even more clues.

Hold onto your hats, because here comes the pièce de résistance: they narrowed down the location using a pack of cigarettes casually strewn on the bed. Yes, you read that right. And if that weren’t enough, they delved into the world of yellow vacuum cleaners. Lesson learned: when posting anything online, mind your background. These sleuths can track you down faster than a caffeinated bloodhound! 

The online sleuths, fueled by determination, began connecting the dots. They sensed that the offender’s actions were escalating toward something more sinister—a human victim. Then, out of the digital ether, a message arrived—one that revealed the name of the kitten killer. Intrigued, they scoured his web pages, where he portrayed himself as a “model” living a glamorous jet-setting lifestyle. But here’s the kicker: almost all those glossy photos? Photoshopped. The so-called Luka fan sites? All traced back to the same person. Turns out, he was catfishing and weaving an elaborate web of deception.

But wait, there’s a breakthrough! They managed to extract GPS coordinates from one of his pictures. Using the background details, they pinpointed his exact location. Drumroll, please: it led them to an apartment where Luka had been staying when he first posted that chilling video. Armed with this intel, they marched to the authorities. The officers investigated and discovered that Luka was allegedly in Russia—a twist worthy of a crime novel.

And then, the videos. Brace yourselves. One showed a helpless kitten wrapped up and drowned in a bathtub. The next? A kitten facing off with a python. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Suffice it to say, the group erupted in shock and outrage. The story made its way into a British publication, which set off a chain reaction. The breadcrumbs led them to England, where a reporter confronted Luka. His response? Denial—classic cat-and-mouse game, but with much higher stakes. 

Skipping some of the finer details, the turning point that led to Luka’s capture was a horrifying video. In it, Luka appeared alongside a bound man on a bed—a man who was being brutally murdered. The video, infamously titled “1 Lunatic, 1 Ice Pick,” is hauntingly real. And yes, I watched it too. The internet sleuths meticulously reviewed this footage, along with the images posted on Luka’s site, piecing together a puzzle that would lead them to his location.

They submitted all their findings to the Toronto Police Department, hoping for swift action. But alas, nothing seemed to happen. It was as if their evidence vanished into a digital void. Then fate intervened. A passerby stumbled upon a suitcase teeming with maggots. Curiosity piqued, they opened it—and there it was: a dismembered human body, missing its head, feet, and hands. The Montreal Police Department was called in to investigate. Soon, news broadcasts echoed the grim discovery. The internet group, undeterred by their previous silence, reached out to the police once more, armed with their evidence. This time, they couldn’t be ignored.

And in a twist worthy of a crime thriller, the police found a crucial clue in the trash: a copy of Luka’s ID and address. The pieces were falling into place. By the documentary’s end, both the victim and murderer had names: Jun Lin and Luka Magnotta. This riveting film keeps you glued to the screen, prompting further searches across various websites for more details about this chilling case. 

I give this documentary 5 out of 5 acorns.